Video Music Awards 2013: Worst Dressed

While Miley Cyrus’s nude-bikini clad butt grazed foam fingers, thrusted at audience members and twerked

Robin Thicke, it was Lady Gaga’s bare bottom that really got my attention. This year’s VMA’s certainly had their fill of bad outfits, but it was the lack of dress that caused the biggest buzz.

Miley’s performance, which is still grabbing views on social media threads and headlines on gossip blogs more than a week later, started innocent enough (at least for the seen-it-all VMA audience). She stepped onto the stage out of a giant teddy bear (who either ate her or birthed her?) wearing a fuzzy, teddy bear printed leotard. Her tongue kept popping out, giving her a reptilian-like quality.  After a few kicks, in the air and crotch grabs, she stripped to a nude bikini and began her favoritest of dance moves – twerking – all while make lewd suggestions with a giant foam finger. By the time she had bent over in front of Robin Thicke, we’d forgotten the sexy apparel. The bikini turned from skimpy to downright trashy.

Miley’s crass performance was a large enough shame-cloud to even overshadow Gaga’s giant spotlight. The Lady took the stage in a head-to-toe white, with a sharply edged square nun-habit. That was weird, but after donning a dress of bacon, Gaga can do little to surprise. This was quickly removed as men in skin tight black suits danced around her. Flashback to Madonna with a blue sequined, shoulder-padded jacket and a white retro wig. Then for the fourth fashion changes in two minutes – a blonde wig and back in the black, sparkling unitard. 

Finally Gaga goes natural as the song nears climax. She’s hidden from view for the fifth time and emerges with her own hair, in a sea-shell bikini, the bottom is a thong. Her bare butt cheeks twirl in front of the audience and the Will Smith family stares shocked.